What’s a girl to do?

By Jae-Ha Kim
Chicago Sun-Times
August 24, 2001

Lady Madonna is no stranger to Chicago. She got a good dose of the city when she filmed “A League of Their Own” here in 1991. But when she hits town this time, it’ll be her first concert tour stop as a married mother of two young’uns.

Think that’ll cramp her style when she’s here next week for her two sold-out concerts? We doubt it very much.

It just means that while she may visit the Baton Lounge (436 N. Clark) to watch the female impersonators, well, impersonate her, she probably won’t jump on stage to dance with them and stuff money into their costumes as she has done in the past.

Madonna has said that her children, Lourdes and Rocco, and her husband, filmmaker Guy Ritchie, are the most important things in her life. So look for her to scout out activities the whole family can enjoy.

Here are some suggestions on how Madonna and family should spend their time in the Windy City.

Matthew Rettenmund, author of Encyclopedia Madonnica, recommends the University of Chicago campus.

“She has been in the news for putting the kids on long lists for admission to fancy preschools and such,” he says. “She may want to get a jump on their college education.”

He also suggests the Fine Arts Theater (410 S. Michigan) so that “Madonna and her hubby could take in some highbrow celluloid and then take the kids out for a milkshake at the diner next door.”

Also worth staking out is Loews Pipers Alley (210 W. North), where she went to see “Boyz N the Hood” during one of her previous visits to the city.

And what’s a trip to Chicago without checking out the theater scene? Madonna once attended a performance of Steppenwolf’s “Earthly Possessions” with long-ago boyfriend Tony Ward. This time around, she and Ritchie should check out the Blue Man Group at Briar Street Theatre (3133 N. Halsted). She may even find a new percussionist for her tour.

Madonna keeps her body buff by working out religiously. Her husband’s interest in martial arts may have influenced her decision to include a wu shu/kung fu segment in her current tour. She and Ritchie have an open invitation to workout at Pow! (950 W. Washington), the new West Loop martial arts gym co-owned by Ho-Sung Pak, who choreographed the martial arts segments for her tour.

“Madonna learned a lot very quickly,” says Pak. “She’s in great shape and worked very hard to make everything look perfect. Guy is actually a great martial artist. He has been doing karate for about 12 years. He could have taught her himself, but I think they both wanted someone objective to show her the moves.”

Martial arts is one thing, but yoga’s responsible for her awesome muscle definition. If she needs a fix of yoga, she and her dancers could head over to the Frog Temple (2368 N. Elston) where owner Randi Whitman leads a mean class of piloga –a fierce combo of yoga and pilates.

She may have won a dancing scholarship way back when, but Madonna had a difficult time learning to jitterbug for a scene in “A League of Their Own.” She brushed up on her steps at the Arthur Murray Dance Studio in Morton Grove (8846 Harlem). Wouldn’t it be cute if she brought her man to learn to tango?

A girl’s gotta eat, right? When Penny Marshall ordered her to gain 20 pounds for “League,” Madonna became a regular at Bistro 110 (110 E. Pearson). But after being a barracuda on stage, the lithe star just may want to test out the fare at Heat (1507 N Sedgwick), a high-end sushi bar where the sashimi is presented to diners live before being filleted. Our guess is she can handle the $125 fluke or the $95 dinner options.

Like every material girl, Madonna enjoys a good shopping spree. She’s already got Gaultier, Dolce & Gabbana and Versace busting out of her closet. So she might want to see what’s hot with the kids at Wicker Park’s p.45 (1643 N. Damen). Fellow rocker Liz Phair models for the trendy boutique. Our idea of heaven would be if the “Real World” kids, who’re living a few blocks away on North Avenue, gawked at La Madonna as she ventured into the area.

Little Rocco may be content to tag along with his mum and dad, but Lourdes will want to be entertained. Madonna and child would have a load of fun at the Chicago Children’s Museum (700 E. Grand). Later, they could meet up with dad and baby bro to catch a showing of “Michael Jordan to the Max” or “Cirque du Soleil” at the Navy Pier IMAX Theatre (600 E. Grand).

Madonna tends to stay at one of the posh hotels downtown (think Four Seasons, Ritz-Carlton). When the kids get cranky, she can take them out for a hot fudge sundae at nearby Ghirardelli (118 E. Pearson).

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