’80s clubber seeks romance at church

Photo: Pixabay via Pexels

By Jae-Ha Kim
Chicago Sun-Times
September 12, 1999

In 1985, B.J. Murray was, as his business card said, Grand Poobah of the VIP Room when the late, great Limelight opened in Chicago.

With his flashy clothes and modified Rod Stewart hair, Murray fit right in with the rock stars who frequented the club.

He was always surrounded by women – young, lithe women with whom he would spontaneously flirt.

Flash forward to 1999. Murray is having a light lunch at Marche, one of his favorite spots.

His hair is brown and cut in a Caesar style. He speaks animatedly about his new public relations company, which includes actors Mike Starr (“Summer of Sam,” “Dumb & Dumber”) and Shanesia Williams (“Early Edition”) as clients.

He also speaks about his search for romance – in church.

“I hope that the next girl I meet is in church,” Murray says. “I’ve been attending Holy Name regularly for years now. It’s a beautiful place to be.”

The 37-year-old “Impresario” (yes, that’s what his current business card reads) is ready to settle down.

Not that his mom is holding her breath.

“My mother believes I’m never going to be married,” he says. “But I don’t want to grow old by myself. I want to share my life with a wife and kids. God. I love kids.

“People have this thing that I have 800 girlfriends. There’s some confusion because I have a lot of girl friends. But not girlfriends. And being in the business I’m in, I’m constantly meeting new people. The other day there was a picture of me and Shanesia in the Sun-Times. Right away I get 20 calls asking if she’s my new girlfriend.”

(For the record, no. The actress is married.)

OK, so the 800 perceived girlfriends aside, Murray says he has been in love only a few times.

When he was an 8-year-old living in New York’s Spanish Harlem, Murray fell for a girl named Sandra whom all the other boys had a crush on, too.

In sixth grade, he stole a kiss from her after school, but she ended up dating one of his friends.

His first adult love was with a young woman named Connie.

“It was in 1984, and it was the first time in my life that I realized I was really in love,” Murray remembers. “But we had different lifestyles that weren’t conducive to each other’s lives. We broke up. Then we met 10 years later and started dating again. But we broke up for many of the same reasons.”

So doesn’t he feel he made the same mistake twice with the same woman?

“No!” he says. “What’s the chance that that happens – that you fall in love with somebody twice in 10 years? You have to be willing to take a chance.

“And I must say that it was nicer the second time around, because we were more grown up. She’s still one of my best pals today. She knows me better than anybody. So no, I wouldn’t trade those years for anything.”

Murray is in New York this weekend.

But next weekend, ladies, he’ll be back at Holy Name. The line starts at the left pew.

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