Journalist, Author & Syndicated Columnist
I am feeling salty today. So grab a cup of hot tea (and maybe a slice of delicious cake to make this all go down better). There’s no shame in not speaking English perfectly as a foreign language. But it is obnoxious to use a person’s words specifically for the intent of shaming them.
In modern South Korea, pop stars and politics don’t often mix. While some hip-hop acts (such as Epik High) address controversial topics, many idol groups stick to a slick, apolitical formula with a proven record of success. BTS, who just became the first K-pop act ever to top the Billboard 200 album sales chart, have become a record-setting success story in part because of their willingness to buck this convention. My latest essay for Rolling Stone.
Do you think it’s appropriate to refer to a person who was born in the United States as an “immigrant”? Yeah, me neither.
I cringed at the way Vogue infantilized BTS by referring to the musicians repeatedly as as “boys.” The youngest member is 20. The eldest is 25. They are old enough to vote and serve in the military. Then, too, there is already the disgusting stereotype of Asian men as not really being men, but servile, effeminate boys.
That time I tweeted about being offered an interview … contingent upon them suing me if I wrote anything “negative” … and thousands of K-Pop fans said I was wrong to turn down that “great opportunity.” 🙄
Many years ago, the road manager for a very famous band called me a chink bitch and waited for me to go away. I’m still here.
Not too long ago, I fell down and ripped the top layer of skin off my knee. As the wound started to heal, the scab, too, started to fall off. But enough of it was still dangling from my knee to be uncomfortable. To many people who don’t want to hear about white privilege, I am that scab. My experiences, words and I are annoying reminders that life isn’t always what you want it to be.
I do believe that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. But it’s clear that for many people, who say these offensive things, they refuse to see beauty in men who they view as inferior. More than a decade ago, I wrote a piece about Asian-American actors. And the response from women was overwhelmingly positive. But several men felt compelled to e-mail the newspaper to inform us that Asian men are ugly and that no one in their right mind would find them sexy.
Too many people have brushed off Lochte-Gate with, “Boys will be boys.” Which makes me question, just what kind of boys are we raising?
My bullies were the worst kind of dude bros: educated men who should’ve known better, but who cloaked their misogyny, racism, jealousy and entitlement with words they thought made them appear hip and clever.
Vincent Chin’s murderers served no jail time. They killed him, but the legal system allowed them to literally get away with murder.
News organizations are making the claim that Korean culture is partially to blame for the Sewol ferry disaster. Some even insist that had these been American children onboard, they would’ve escaped death. Shame on them for blaming the young victims of this tragedy.
Our local Boy Scout troop could’ve had an opportunity to learn that there are repercussions to their actions; and that sometimes, the worst action is in pretending that a wrong never happened. Instead, they learned that if they deny something enough, they can get away with being cruel to youngsters and disrespecting members of their community.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I thought that all the hoopla surrounding Miley Cyrus’ performance with Robin Thicke on this past weekend’s Video Music Awards would’ve died down by now. But, it hasn’t. And while there has been some fantastic commentary about the meaning of their performance (as it relates to sexism and racism), I was disappointed to see that the majority of comments boiled down to this: Miley Cyrus is a little slut with a flabby rearend.
Someone privately messaged me and asked why I wrote so much about things that had happened in the past. Do I write about it so much? I’ve been writing professionally for the past three decades and I’d estimate that my pieces surrounding race issues encompass less than 1% of everything I’ve ever written.
A while ago, I used to do segments on a local radio station. It was a popular show with a host who was vaguely shock jockish. We got along fine, and it was a good forum to promote the newspaper I worked for. One day, they called me at work and put me on the air live to tell them about some of the music acts coming to town that weekend. They kept me on the line as they began another segment, in which they called a bunch of establishments that were operated by Asian Americans — dry cleaners, Chinese restaurants etc. I would soon find out that the sole purpose of these calls was to make fun of the people speaking accented English.
It has been almost three decades since Long Duk Dong made his appearance in “16 Candles,” and it doesn’t look like Hollywood’s perception of Asian men has changed all that much. Actor John Wusah turned down a chance to audition for a film, where the Asian character was there just to be made fun of. I can’t imagine that it’d be easy for an actor of any race to turn down an opportunity to work. So Kudos, Mr. Wusah.
Have you ever waited an hour to eat at a half-empty restaurant, when you had a reservation? We did. We were repeatedly asked to wait for a table, while the hostess seated dozens of people before us, including those without reservations. Were they incompetent? Yes. Were they racist? Possibly. Have we gone back? Nope.
There was a little boy sitting nervously on his bicycle as my dad talked to him. The boy had called my father a chink, and my father was calmly explaining that it wasn’t a nice thing to say, and that his parents would be disappointed to hear him say that to an adult. (Who’re we kidding? We all know that this kid probably learned to be a racist at home. But my father was giving him the benefit of the doubt.)