“The Hills” — Season 3

The third season of “The Hills” is alive with the sound of arguing, crying, and making up (sort of) by the telegenic quartet known as Lauren, Heidi, Whitney and Audrina. Glitzy, fabulous and completely unrealistic, this top-rated MTV reality series thrives on the conceit that pretty girls are jealous of each other when one of them has a boyfriend. But if that boyfriend is Spencer (Heidi’s big-toothed Svengali-in-training), it’s not necessarily jealousy the girls are feeling so much as revulsion.

“I Love New York” — Season Two

Programs like “I Love New York” profess to be a legitimate way of finding soulmates for the quasi-celebs. But all they really aim to do is get high enough ratings so that the producers can justify okaying subsequent seasons.

“I Love New York”

“I Love New York” is as trashy as the role Pollard plays. Unlike ABC’s “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette,” which at least goes through the motions of picking suitable contenders, VH1 has stacked the deck against New York (and, let’s face it, the men). Their nicknames (Token, Trendz, White Boy) are more interesting than they are.