Rules of engagement

Betsy Lancefield knew early on that she didn’t want to live with a man before getting married. But then she fell in love with a man who wouldn’t consider marrying a woman he hadn’t already lived with. She was torn. So they compromised. “Six months into the relationship, we got engaged,” says Lancefield, 37. “He went to work in Indonesia for eight months, and when he returned, he moved in with me. My family and friends were excited when we got engaged, but then when they heard we hadn’t set a date, they were sort of let down.”