These little beings have such big hearts. And the last thing any parent wants is for their children’s hearts to be broken. I thank whoever is in charge that children are filled with grace. They forgive us when we don’t deserve it and show us what true love is.
A couple years ago, actress Katherine Heigl and her husband Josh Kelley adopted an adorable little baby girl from South Korea. No one would deny that they didn’t deserve to be parents. But what some folks—myself included—found curious was that they had been married for less than two years when they were matched with their child.
Two years ago today, Denton and I landed at O’Hare with a very scared and tired baby. If you look at picture from that day, you’ll see that Denton and I are beaming–happy to be home with our adorable baby. But look closer at our son’s expression and you’ll see that he isn’t happy. He’s stunned. He went into survival mode once he realized that his foster parents–the people who had raised him since he was three-weeks old–were gone.
Kyle is 2-1/2 years old today and we started the day off with big tears. His and mine. Normally the morning routine includes some playtime with daddy before Denton heads off to work and we sit down for breakfast. Today, Kyle slept in until 8:30, so Denton had already left for work. I’m not sure if that set him off, but he was in a mood. He wanted me, he didn’t want me, he wanted to go downstairs, he wanted to stay upstairs. Push. Pull.
A few months after he had been with us, Kyle began losing his Korean and speaking predominantly English. It became most apparent when he cried for me one night, but he didn’t cry out for umma (which means mommy). He said, “Mom!” I don’t know how I feel about that. It is so hard to learn a new language when you are older, but it is so easy to forget it. Being fluent in a second language often is something you don’t appreciate until you’re no longer bilingual.
A year ago today, we received our Travel Call. That’s the adoption equivalent of a pregnant woman’s water breaking. It meant that our baby was ready to come home. Super organized me lost it and couldn’t think straight. Super cheap me actually paid a travel agent to make all the travel arrangements for Denton and me to travel to Korea. (Granted, he specializes in adoption airfare…)
One day, you and I will argue and you will get angry with me—you may even resent me and wish you had a different mother. Just remember that I let you kick me in the head and chest almost every night that you have been home with us so far. 
But only because you’re so cute. And even if you ever wish you had a different mother, just know that I will always be so happy and grateful that you are my son. You are my everything.
It’s been drilled into our heads that the best way to get a cheap airline ticket is to buy it well in advance of your travel date. But parents adopting children from overseas often have no idea when that date might be. And once their adoption agency gives them the go-ahead to bring home their child, they typically have only a matter of days to make all the arrangements.
There is a sentiment that babies don’t know anything or are too young to remember. I wish this were true, but it’s not. They remember, mourn and grieve (especially the loss of their moms). We don’t want our baby to suffer, but there is no way to prevent this. There are ways to help ease the child into the transition though, and this includes keeping the baby’s world very small in the beginning.
