Americans use the Internet to abandon children adopted from overseas

Child Exchange

By Jae-Ha Kim
jaehakim.com
September 9, 2013

EVERYONE needs to read this. It’s a Reuters investigation on child traffickers. It is one of the most sickening and disgusting things I have ever read. There are forums on the internet (including Facebook) where “parents” (and I use that term loosely) can give away their adopted children for being inconvenient/not what they signed up for/harder to raise than they anticipated. There is no vetting system. They just freaking give the kids away to ANYONE, including pedophiles and sadists:

KIEL, Wisconsin – Todd and Melissa Puchalla struggled for more than two years to raise Quita, the troubled teenager they’d adopted from Liberia. When they decided to give her up, they found new parents to take her in less than two days – by posting an ad on the Internet.

Nicole and Calvin Eason, an Illinois couple in their 30s, saw the ad and a picture of the smiling 16-year-old. They were eager to take Quita, even though the ad warned that she had been diagnosed with severe health and behavioral problems. In emails, Nicole Eason assured Melissa Puchalla that she could handle the girl.

“People that are around me think I am awesome with kids,” Eason wrote.

A few weeks later, on Oct. 4, 2008, the Puchallas drove six hours from their Wisconsin home to Westville, Illinois. The handoff took place at the Country Aire Mobile Home Park, where the Easons lived in a trailer.

No attorneys or child welfare officials came with them. The Puchallas simply signed a notarized statement declaring these virtual strangers to be Quita’s guardians. The visit lasted just a few hours. It was the first and the last time the couples would meet.

To Melissa Puchalla, the Easons “seemed wonderful.” Had she vetted them more closely, she might have discovered what Reuters would learn:

• Child welfare authorities had taken away both of Nicole Eason’s biological children years earlier. After a sheriff’s deputy helped remove the Easons’ second child, a newborn baby boy, the deputy wrote in his report that the “parents have severe psychiatric problems as well with violent tendencies.”

• The Easons each had been accused by children they were babysitting of sexual abuse, police reports show. They say they did nothing wrong, and neither was charged.

• The only official document attesting to their parenting skills – one purportedly drafted by a social worker who had inspected the Easons’ home – was fake, created by the Easons themselves.

On Quita’s first night with the Easons, her new guardians told her to join them in their bed, Quita says today. Nicole slept naked, she says.

You wanna know why there is a contingent of people — including, most importantly, adoptees — who want reform in the adoption system and/or are against adoption? This is one of the reasons.

Kudos to Reuters for this amazing expose. Read all five parts. Then ask yourself, what will you do to help ensure that this stops?

***

ETA:

I can see why some people hate adoptive parents. I am an adoptive parent, and I dislike some of them, too.  Like the ones I met in Korea who told me they chose international adoption so their child will never be reunited with his birth parents. Or the ones who told me they’re not going to teach their kids Korean because this is ‘Merica, dammit, and they only need to know English. Or the ones who are actually sympathetic to these CRIMINALS who gave away their adopted children to predators on the internet.

One woman in an adoption forum said this:

I certainly don’t mean to diminish the feelings of these poor children who are caught in the middle. I am heart-broken for them! I’m not sure how I feel about the adoptive parents in the cases that I read. Part of me thinks they need to face consequences—you do not walk away from your children! And part of me knows that my imagination probably can’t come close to the horrifying realities that they’ve lived—with no support—no where to turn to. I can only imagine how desperate they must have felt to do this. Incredibly sad all the way around.

Another one wrote this:

The part that bothers me though is that it is just another “adoption gone wrong” story that highlights the negatives (hopefully a small percentage??? I’m not sure what this number is) and they seem to ignore the fact that there are millions of children who have been adopted and are thriving in loving homes. It just fuels the haters:(

This was my response:

I’ll put it out there: THIS ISN’T ABOUT US, the adoptive parents. Who cares if people say we stink? Unlike these children, we have the means to stand up for ourselves.

If someone gave birth and threw her baby away in a garbage can, would you be horrified? Or would you say, “Oh, that poor mom. She must’ve been so stressed and felt she had no other option but to throw her baby away.”

THIS IS THE EXACT SAME THING. THESE PEOPLE THREW THEIR CHILDREN AWAY LIKE THEY WERE GARBAGE! AS PARENTS, YOU SHOULD ALL BE HORRIFIED!!!

The reason this expose is being highlighted — rather than all the adoptions that go well — is because it is horrifying! And it is news! And it is something that many of us parents knew nothing about. 

Do we have news reports about all the days that go by without a plane crash? Or an automobile collision? Or all the days where schools aren’t shot up? No, because that is the norm. 

This is NEWS, and instead of saying, “Oh, the adoptees hate us,” we should be saying, “Oh my God. What can we do to help stop this?” 

I am an adoptive parent and I love my child more than anything, which is why it horrifies me that this kind of sadism, cruelty and immorality goes on anywhere. I wish nothing but the worst for everyone involved in this: The child traffickers who should be locked up and never released from prison. NEVER. And the adoptive “parents” (and I use that term loosely) who pawn their children off on people they know NOTHING about. WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK?! Who does that?

You can’t parent your child? For whatever reason? Ok. While I have strong feelings about this issue, there are safe and legal ways to disrupt your adoption. Giving your kids away to predators isn’t one of them.

© 2013 JAE-HA KIM | All Rights Reserved

Comments (17)

  1. Dawn says:

    I’ve been following this story with horror. I’m not a crier…but this one brought me to tears. As a teacher, I ran into more students being treated like this than I care to remember. Our schools could use many, many more social workers.

  2. conquerlove05 says:

    I read this article earlier today & couldn’t believe what I read. Such a sad vicious society. Giving away a child for their inconvenience days after adopting them.

  3. Harriett says:

    Gawd. I feel so sad. Oy. Some much in there. Naive parents adopting hurting kids from abroad, vulnerable kids as prey, creeps waiting to pounce. Yuk

  4. jacquez45 says:

    I finished reading this this morning, when the last part was posted. It is HORRIFYING. But I agree that it is important reading, and that —especially if you are in the US or any other country that has a large number of international adoptees — you should gather your mental strength and read it.

  5. zb says:

    also this is why I think people that say adoption is a better solution to pregnancy than abortion are complete idiots.

  6. Kim says:

    I read this series the other night.The molesters are evil, but the adoptive parents who started this by giving the children away are just as bad. They broke the law. Lock them all up and do not let them out.

  7. Tommy Egger says:

    Shocking! Thank you for having brought this to our attention.

  8. Elsie says:

    zb said “also this is why I think people that say adoption is a better solution to pregnancy than abortion are complete idiots.”

    I’m a complete idiot. Who knew?

    Child Trafficking by adoptive parents: those who “give away their adopted children for being inconvenient/not what they signed up for.”

    Abortion: the disposal of biological children for being inconvenient / not what they signed up for.

    What surprises me most about this story is that anyone is surprised by this story. Human life has been devalued to the point of legalized murder, and society turns a blind eye. Perhaps we have forfeited our right to righteous indignation on the issue of trafficking by not giving voice to the pre-born who cannot speak for themselves.

    Welcome to the wonderful world of self-worship.

    • Sarah says:

      I was going to agree with you but then you lost me. It’s not mutually exclusive Elsie. You can be a pro life and still be shocked that people traffic children. I know I am. BTW according to the reports I’ve read and seen the adoptive parents and traffikers were Christians and most pro life as well. So how does your theory stand up there? You can protect unborn life, but once they’re born do whatever you want with them? My heart goes out to all these children. In this case, I say eye for an eye for these perputraters.

      • Elsie says:

        Thank you for your thoughtful response, Sarah. My point is that when we soberly assess a society which devalues human life to the point of legalizing murder for the sake of what is in the best interest of self, why are we shocked when people take advantage of others for the sake of self interest? While we may be shocked, I don’t know that we should be.

        Either life has value or it does not. Who is qualified to determine which lives are valuable? Our president once said that if his daughters made a mistake, he wouldn’t want them “punished” with a baby. When is a baby a punishment? In this case, a baby is a punishment when he/she is unwanted. In other words, the mother (or those around her) determines the value of the life within her based on her own will and/or desire. Down the road when she has lived her life and is ready, a baby is no longer considered a “punishment.” What changed? Certainly not the value of life. Only her will or desire has changed.

        As far as people who profess Christianity, I don’t know that I have a theory. Jesus said that there will be those who call him “Lord” to whom He will say, “I never knew you; depart from Me.” My take away is that not everyone who claims to know Christ actually knows Christ.

        Of course our hearts should go out to them. Yes, we should do something. Yes, we should feel sickened by the depravity of such acts. But, IMHO, we do not have the right to righteous indignation regarding the devaluing of human life on a pick-and-choose basis.

  9. Amy says:

    Your response is so powerful and convicting, Jae. Thank you for being that voice!!

  10. Thomas Martin says:

    At the risk of sounding like an “angry adoptee,” I would say that while most adoptions (that I know of) don’t result in children being traded from house to house and being abused and tortured like these adoptees in the article, there are more than a number of do-gooder right-wing Christians who want to “do the best” for us. But few of them know what that is. They take us from our birth countries, they equate giving us “culture” to sending us to a camp one a year (if that), or having their local Asian restaurant owner or dry cleaner talk to us in our native language and enroll us in tae kwon do. None of these parents that I am aware of take the language lessons with their children or do anything beyond sending their kids to the weekly classes that the kids do not want to attend because what good does it do to speak a language that no one else in their household does?

    If you really want to do what’s best for your children, help them retain their birth country language skills. This will give them the ability to communicate in their birth country if and when they want to return to search for their birth mother and family. It wasn’t until I was reunited with my original family that I felt I could breathe and really live.

    I will always love my adoptive parents. Knowing my birth parents hasn’t lessened that love. If anything, it has strengthened it.

  11. Siobhan says:

    I can’t believe people would do this. I remember a few years ago, a US couple put their adoptive child on a plane back to the country the child came from. They said they couldn’t handle the child. Caused quite a stir, since there was no one there to “meet” the child. If I remember correctly, that country wanted to eliminate US adoptions because of it. I would think the first step to helping the throw away kids is to report the parents if they “suddenly” no longer have their child living with them!!

  12. sarahssaem says:

    Gross. 🙁

  13. ladyfaceshai says:

    What the actual fuck.

  14. mabtv3 says:

    Agree so much with all of this

  15. Stan Farmington says:

    Elsie, if I’m reading between the lines correctly, you’re saying that anyone who is pro choice has no right to be indignant over other human rights abuses. I find fault with your logic and find you and people like you distasteful. And by you I don’t mean pro life people as I, too, am pro life. However, I can separate that view with the point of this piece by Reuters. Child trafficking is never Ok and the more people who write about it and talk about it is Ok by me. God bless.

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