The “Don’t You” question

Dont-You-Ever-Give-Up

By Jae-Ha Kim
jaehakim.com
September 17, 2013

In this week’s edition of Anonymous Asked a Question, we get this:

Don’t you think you’re making it all about you by making your child take Korean lessons? Don’t you think he’d be happier playing with his friends instead of being stuck in school learning a language that he will probably never really need. Everyone in Korea speaks English. You said yourself that you hated Korean lessons when you were his age, so why are you making him? It seems hypocritical don’t you think?

Oh, hey. It’s the “Don’t You” question.

I can’t tell if you’re a troll or if your concern for my child is genuine. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.

Let me start by saying that my son would be happiest doing a lot of things that aren’t good for him (chasing after balls in the street comes to mind, as does eating Popsicles for dinner or watching the “Power Rangers” for hours on end).

My situation and my son’s are very different. We were both born in Korea and came to the U.S. at a young age. But I emigrated from Korea with my parents and siblings. I don’t have to search for my past. My past is with me. My son came to the U.S. because we adopted him. There are a lot of unknowns for him that—I believe—he will want to learn about. The answers are in Korea. Koreans speak Korean. Therefore, it’ll be beneficial for him to speak Korean.

And I know your next question is going to be, “How do you know he’s going to want to see his family again?” My answer is, I don’t know. So what? I didn’t enroll him in swim lessons because I want him to be in the Olympics. He takes swim lessons because it’s good for him to know how to swim.

I speak Korean. It’s something that’s relatively easy for me to pass onto him. I enrolled him in Korean school because the teachers know better grammar than I do. And, let’s face it, he listens to them better than either of his parents!

FWIW, being stuck in Korean school and having fun playing with his friends aren’t mutually exclusive. He has friends in Korean school that he plays with during recess. And he has playdates with friends after Korean school is over.

Don’t you think that’s the best of both worlds? See what I did there?

©2013 JAE-HA KIM | All Rights Reserved 

5 thoughts on “The “Don’t You” question”

  1. Great response. And I have no inclination about thinking I know what your son will want in he future, but as an adoptee, I would have appreciated learning Korean as a child. Even if that would have meant being “forced”, I wish I would have been.

  2. I would say that Anon is a troll. I would have given him the benefit of the doubt if you had wanted your son to learn Klingon, but I think that being bilingual in just about any Earthling language is of benefit.

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